Holland, MI

[May 3rd, 2008]

A bunch of colleagues decided to make full use of the brilliant spring weather. I was game. As always! The result... A canoeing trip! Wohooooo!!!!!!!

Day1:
We started the day at the brink of dawn. Hitman, Dozey, Witch and Me with SpeedRacer at the wheel. SpeedRacer had laden the car with gadgets. The customary GPS and a "Cop Detector". It basically works by sensing the field emitted by police radar guns at a distance and alerts the driver so that he can slow down by the time he reaches the measuring radius. Ingenious.

After the initial jitters of sitting in a virtual rocket, Hitman decided to take over the wheel. Our pace changed from an eye-watering 120 mph to a steady 70mph. I showed Witch the hand gesture to make the truckers blow their horn. Big mistake. She spent a good hour and a half annoying every single semi we passed. I think it was 9 horns in total. Phew!
First pit stop, Big Boy. After a good brunch we resumed our short drive to Allegan Canoe. The owner was a chirpy old lady. She gave us our gear and barked out instructions by pointing to a hand drawn sketch of the river. I hesitate to call it a map because it really wasn't. It was more of an excuse to get lost on the river.
Before we knew it, we were climbing aboard a beaten down van and were rumbling towards our start point. A lot of heaving and a few swaps later, we were in position to launch. SpeedRacer, Dozey and Me on Canoe1, Witch and Hitman on Canoe2.

Almost instantly we could see Canoe2 struggling. They were meandering all over the breadth of the river, floating sideways and at one point even backwards. Witch and Hitman just weren't working in sync.

On the other hand, Canoe1 was stable. I was the back-right engine, SpeedRacer was the front-left engine and Dozey was the emergency power thruster. Within a few minutes we had settled into a rhythm and were rocketing down the river. One look back and we realised that we had left Canoe2 far behind. We immediately stopped paddling and waited patiently for Canoe2 to catch up. We watched them float out of control and into tree branches.

They spent a good 10 minutes trying to dislodge their Canoe. Finally, they came downstream, backwards, and met us where we were waiting for them so patiently. We let them get a substantial head start and pushed off again. This time there was no stopping us. We rowed like there was no tomorrow. We synchronised our efforts by letting out a "Hoo!" on every backstroke. We literally rocketed past Canoe2 and kept going very pleased with the momentum we were getting. A few minutes later we came to a fork in the river. After a spot of arguing we decided to stick to the right fork, complying with the instructions we were given.
We happened to glance back and were totally dumbfounded to find that Canoe2 was nowhere in sight. We turned the canoe around and started rowing against the current. We were getting nowhere. We made a smart move... rowing ourselves purposely into a low lying branch. We lodged our canoe on the branches and waited patiently. The minutes ticked by. After an excruciating 35 minutes we saw a blue cap. Joy!! We finally caught a glimpse of Canoe2 inching its way down the river. Backwards.

We realised that we needed SpeedRacer and Myself in different Canoes to do the power rowing. We dislodged ourselves from the branches and headed out down the river in search of a landing spot so we could switch. A few minutes later SpeedRacer pointed out a small landing spot where we managed to dock Canoe1. It was a relief to step out of the canoe and onto solid ground. The ground was marshy and I saw some of the weirdest insects crawling beneath the blanket of dead leaves and wet mud. I stopped looking down. We waited patiently for Canoe2 to arrive. It was a relief when we saw them snailing their way down to the landing.

A few minutes later, we were off again. This time we were balanced. My shift from Canoe1 to Canoe2 had done the trick. Finally the 2 canoes were floating down the river in unison. We were making good time. We took in the beauty of the nature that surrounded us.

We passed a couple of riverside houses which told us that we had an hour of rowing left. I was tiring. A quick glance told me that Witch and Hitman were doing no better.
It began to drizzle. The temperature was dipping fast. SpeedRacer and Dozey were a good 10 minutes ahead of us. We could see them intermittently. The wind was playing spoilsport. It was hard to paddle in a straight line with the wind displacing us sideways. We snaked our way around a rather large bend in the river and to our glee SpeedRacer and Dozey were just sitting there in Canoe1 exhausted from the rowing. We had finally caught up.

Being there side by side, in the middle of nowhere gave us a new impetus. We decided were going to go down with all guns blazing. We latched on to our oars and began to row with a new found energy. Our Canoes were parallel and we were skimming along the water like professionals.
Hitman decided he wanted to turn it into a race. He began paddling frantically, making the canoe veer off course and into some real nasty branches. He held on to one of the branches and released it. I realised what was going to happen. I closed my eyes and ducked. I could hear the swish of leaves and a very crisp THWACK!! The branch had smacked Witch right in the kisser. She was fuming.
A couple of angry minutes later we were back to our lackadaisical rowing. We continued on hoping to see the bridge which was our end point. Canoe1 was ahead of us again, much to Hitman's despair. Just when I was giving up hope, I heard a shout of joy from Canoe1. They could see the bridge! It had taken us 4 hours and 40 minutes in all. Phew!
A few moments later we were on a truck heading back to our car with the muscular dame behind the wheel.

Next stop, Saugatuck Dune rides. They were basically Ford F350's modified to seat a dozen people. No roof. Under inflated tyres. That meant only one thing. Reduce weight and increase traction. Within a couple of minutes i knew why. The truck was blazing down narrow pathways cut into the massive sand dunes. The speed and accuracy of the turns on the loose sand was almost surreal. The driver sure was talented. The experience would have been even more amazing if it hadn't been drizzling. The sharp sting of rain droplets served as a constant reminder of the sheer velocity at which we were travelling down the dunes. To make things worse, the fine sand flying off the tyres stuck to our faces and ears. Though it was an experience to remember, I was glad when we pulled up into the garage.

We headed to the hotel, checked in and sank into the beds. Aaahhhh... Bliss!
The evening was a blur. I hurt everywhere. My arms felt like Jello. My legs were cramping. Even the thought of having dinner at a Chinese restaurant didn't excite me. The restaurant was alright. We ordered WAY more food than we needed. We ate like piranhas in a feeding frenzy but the food just kept coming. I felt bad wasting so much food.
By now my aching muscles had begun to throb, sending sharp pulses of pain shooting through my body. Even my hair hurt. I couldn't wait to get back to the hotel room.

Back in the comfort of the hotel room, we decided to play blackjack. I was sore but Hitman's antics kept me entertained and We played well into the night. It was nearly 2am when i decided to call it a day. I slipped into the comforter and almost immediately drifted into a deep slumber.

Day2:
I got up late. The first thing i noticed was that my muscles felt relaxed. I was relieved. After grabbing a quick breakfast we headed to the Dutch Village. It was a photographers paradise. We began clicking pictures. A lot of them.

Some of them downright ridiculous.

We even sat on a Carousel.

After spending a good 4 hours at the Dutch Village and buying a load of junk including catapults and rubber band shooting handguns, we decided to visit the famous Holland Tulip Show. Though SpeedRacer and Me were a little apprehensive about going to a flower show, Hitman absolutely insisted that we go.

The flowers were beautiful. We ended up staying for a lot longer than I had anticipated. We also met some of our colleagues at the Tulip show. Finally, after Hitman's photo shoot, we regrouped at the parking lot and clicked the final pictures.

SpeedRacer took the wheel. In spite of heavy traffic, the maniac had us back in Chi-town in record time. I trudged back home. It was Sunday night and the Monday blues were already taking over.